You know, we'll soon know America better than any American! Us - the Hermits, I mean. Karl and Lecky and Barry and Keith and me. Because this time our two months' sprint around the U.S.A. took in no fewer than 36 different cities!
     From Portland, Oregon, to Birmingham, Alabama; from New Jersey to Nebraska; with dozens in between.
     Some of them with names that, in our early days as a group, we only knew from song titles. Looking down our date-sheet, for instance, let's take August. What did we find?
     Chattanooga (Choo-Choo), August 17; Chicago, August 5; Omaha, August 4; Baltimore, August 11; and so on.
     And none of them like we'd imagined from the lyrics!
     I wonder what some of the American groups visiting Britain think when they first encounter, say, Berkeley Square (where the nightingale sang!), or experience their first Foggy Day in London Town. (And let me tell you, all that chat about fog is vastly exaggerated!)
     And talking of groups, we couldn't help wondering, while we were away, how the scene progressed during our absence from the "Old Country." It changes so fast.
     When we left, the charts were what the Music Business calls "wide open." That's to say, there was a tremendous variety of music to choose from compared with say, a year or two back.
     Your own Vikki Carr (whom all of us had admired tremendously for ages) had at last made it - with a great song called It Must Be Him. The Monkees were fighting the Beatles for No. 1 with their Alternate Title - they were afraid their original title, Big Scouse Git, might upset the fans in Liverpool! There was a weird, fascinating Bach-like piece by the Procol Harum called A Whiter Shade of Pale. And there was Pet Clark's swinging Don't Sleep In The Subway. Plus our own Museum just released before we vanished from the British scene.
     You haven't heard this one yet, of course, but it's about the Natural History Museum in London, and it's written by Donovan. In fact, as one music paper put it, he wrote it "with himself!"
     Because his full name's Donovan Leitch, and the record company's given the composter's name(s) as Donovan-Leitch, (Maybe he collects two lots of royalties?)
     But the London scene changes so fast, as I said. New groups, new sounds - only the mini skirts don't alter except (thanks to a fabulous swimmer), they seemed to be getting shorter every day!

     Lulu, by the way, told me that her own mini skirts were the talk of New York when she came over for the premier of To Sir With Love in which she appears with Sydney Poitier, and also sings the title song.
     She was amazed to find so few minis on the New York girls but maybe she's started the trend there by now!
     But now in London there's another trend. And I can only guess that it's because the girls are beginning to feel they ought to make up in some way for the lack of material they're actually wearing.
     Anyway, they've taken to tatooing!
     But before you rush off and start having snakes and things emblazoned indelibly all over you, let me add that these tattoos are really only special transfers that you moisten and stick on, and wash off just as easily later on.
     And very nice, too! Butterflies and bracelets and floral designs and abstracts. A kind of walking pop art!
     At the same time, the boys have started wearing "jingles." Not the jingles you hear on radio commercials, but metallic attachments to belts and wrists that jingle as they walk!
     If there's enough of them dancing in a discotheque the whole place sounds like an Indian temple!
     Yes, it's an ever-changing scene in good old London Town (if you'll forgive me sounding like a travelog). And believe it or not, even London Bridge really IS falling down! Yes! The old song's coming true!
     Well, actually it's going to be pulled down. And . . .you've heard of wily boys selling gullible tourists the Brooklyn Bridge? Well, they're actually offering London Bridge for sale (the authorities I mean) to anybody who'll take it away!
     The only snag is, you've got to take the lot; you can't just buy bits of it. Any offers?
     So one way and another, the boys and I were wondering what changes there would have been by the time we got back.
     We knew one thing that WON'T have changed. That early-morning call at the film studios. Because we went straight back to continue work on Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter, our film that shows all kinds of lively London.
     Filming's taken longer than expected. So. . .no Honolulu Holiday for us at the end of the tour. No lazing on the sands by the breaking surf. No palm trees waving overhead against an azure sky (more travelog stuff). Instead. . .
     The lights, the clapper board, the cameras, and the dulcet tones of our producer, Saul Swimmer saying: "That was great, boys! Let's try it one more time. . ."
     It's all go, isn't it?