WHO hasn't dreamed of becoming the girl friend of Herman, Barry, Keith, Lek or Karl? And who hasn't wondered, both secretly and out loud, what kind of girls these charming, handsome Britishers are attracted to and would like to call their girl friends?
    Well, now you can read the answers to those questions. Here, for the first time anywhere, Herman & The Hermits are letting their hair down - and letting the cat out of the bag, too. Here are the real qualities Herman's Hermits look for in a girl. Read on and see if you qualify to be the beloved of the boy you love.

    First off, I do not like to date a girl who is going out with me for publicity. I really hate that. If I find out that the real reason a girl likes me is because she is getting "known" through our relationship, then I break off with her right away.
    There is another type of girl whom I cannot abide and that is the "groupie." Girls of this type are the kind that hang about dressing rooms or hotel lobbies pretending that they know you and that they are above the fans. They usually have a long list of other well known performers whom they brag that they have dated. In other words, they collect pop singers - and no guy likes to be a collector's "item".

    I'll start off with the negative aspects and then move on to the positive ones, as our friend Herman just did.
    I truly dislike "white" make-up on girls. I know it's the trend, but to me the girls done up that way look like ghosts. And, worse yet, they look like all the other girls. Can you imagine what a boy must think when he sees a bunch of birds with exactly the same make-up, exactly the same hair-do, and exactly the same clothes on? He thinks, "Those must be a pretty dull lot" - that's what he thinks.
    Another pet hate of mine is girls wearing slacks (especially if the slacks don't fit or the girl is a bit "broad of beam" for them). I know that slacks are in, so I won't be a square about them - but I still don't think they look girlish.
    Speaking of clothes, I do like to see girls in feminine styles. I love swinging, short A-line skirts with frilly blouses over them. I like medium heels and I like to see a girl wear a bit of jewelry and to smell a bit of nice cologne in the air about her.
    I just like natural make-up. If you are naturally pretty - good. If you need a bit of paint and powder, use it . . . just don't go too heavy on it. And please don't come on with those blackened "horror movie" eyes. They are not attractive to me.
    I love a girl who has a distinct personality and who isn't afraid to express her own opinions. I want to be with a bird who can talk and who can turn me on to talking. I don't want her to be loud, but to be awake and be aware and be with it. You see, I'm a bit shy, so she'll have to be a bit of the opposite to get me goin'.

I happen to like all girls, so all of you who read this automatically qualify as my girl friend. But I s'pose I'll have to come up with a couple of definitive ideas on the subject of bird luvvin' - or there will be nothing but blank paper here on my part of the story.
    Well, I agree with herman about girls being sweet. I find truly nice, friendly girls much more attractive than those "hard to get," flirty ones. I guess some girls think you have to play it cool to get a boy interested, but that does not apply in my case.
    I also don't like to plan things. I like to go out on the spur of the moment and have fun. I dig meeting a bird backstage or in the hotel suite and then have it suddenly "happen" that we are attracted to each other and wish to go out together. Actually, if you just let things happen, you don't have to say a lot of words.
    There is one last piece of advice I'll give all girls who are interested in myself, another Hermit or Herman: Don't giggle and whisper. We are all so tired of this that you can't imagine how unattractive it is to us. So if you meet one of us, keep that little pearl of wisdom in mind.

    Well, it's time for you not-so-skinny girls to perk up and listen to "Uncle Lek." I am probably one of the few remaining pop boys in the world who doesn't like thin girls with long, long hair! I can't see what attracts the other blokes to that type of bird. I think it is just the trend, that's what.
    I like for girls to have curves and to have flesh on their bones. I like round cheeks, sparkling eyes and a frank, open manner. I think those "coolie" chicks are more like "zombies."
    I do admit to a weakness for blondes, but it is firmly on the record that I have dated many a redhead, brownette and brunette! I like girls who have an independent air about them, but who do not flirt with other guys. I really can't stand that. It's not because I am insecure - it's that it makes the girl look cheap. Remember, when you're with me you're with me!
    I also like to see girls in pretty dressy dresses - not sheaths or slacks or the likes. I like dresses that show where the waistline is - and where all the other curves are, for that matter. I also dig black cocktail dresses. They are different and exciting to me.

    I have an aversion to loud, boisterous girls. The first thing I notice about a girl is her temperament. If she is calm and a bit shy, I find her most attractive.
    Clothes mean a lot to me personally and on the girl I go out with. I like to see a girl wearing original things that aren't too far-out. I look at fabrics and design - and I am very gone on buttons.
    There must be some girls out there who enjoy reading and talking about music - and who especially dig listening to music (and who don't mind sitting still and listening to me play the guitar and try to make up songs). If such girls exist, then they were made for me.
    Looks are not of great importance to me. I think "prettiness" is an inner quality that will shine out through a girl's eyes. Terribly pretty girls are spoiled, usually. It is those who have had to cultivate their inner beauty who are most interesting and attractive to me.
    Well, how do you measure up when it comes to being the favorite girl friend of your favorite Hermit - or Herman? If you scored 100% - bravo. If not, you can start on your self-improvement campaign - for there will always be a next time!